By Request: How the Elimination Order SHOULD Have Gone

June 1, 2008 at 6:39 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Thanks to Christine for the idea!

I’m now going to attempt to re-work the entire cycle according to whom I would have sent home each week.  Brace yourself… I’m the new Tyra Banks.

Episode 2: Homeless
First off, I would have definitely sent Kimberly home.  A girl who doesn’t even want to be there isn’t someone that I would want to hire (which reminds me, I was SOOOOO glad that Leiden FINALLY got sent home this week in AusNTM!  ABOUT TIME!)  Besides, I didn’t think her homeless picture was that great anyways.  Frankly, I’m not even really sure how she made it to the top 14, since she didn’t seem to be able to take directions and couldn’t vocalize why she was even there.

If I were as cruel as Tyra and decided to send someone else home, too, it would have had to have been Amis.  Yes, Amis has a LOVELY personality, but she failed to take direction well (or, um… at all), took a pretty ridiculous-looking homeless picture, and seemed to be one of those girls that wasn’t really in it to model — she was there for a fun new experience.  Yes, Atalya’s homeless picture was a bit boring, too, but there’s one girl that could definitely benefit from a makeover.  Atalya, you’re going high-fashion!  Oh, and that’s another thing… if I were the producer, I would have makeovers right away.  Yikes.

Episode 3: Lingerie
This may not be a popular opinion, but I would have sent Dominique home at this point.  After all, she was already in the bottom two, and whereas her photo maybe wasn’t quite as bad as Allison’s, I think that the photographer coming back and saying that he thought she was someone’s mom would have been a dealbreaker for me.  Bad attitudes can be humbled by a few times in the bottom two, but eight weeks later, Dom still looked like a tranny.  It’s harsh, but it’s reality.

Episode 4: Meat
Another unpopular opinion here… at this point, I would have let Fatima go.  My only regret in doing this is that if she were to go in this episode, we would all miss out on her fabulous Fuerza-Bruta and Cover Girl shots.  But looking back on her first three photos, already at this point she was in the bottom three for having no idea what to do with her body.  And continuing to make snarling facial expressions after Jay told her how awful they looked… yeah… that’d be enough for me to get sick of her, far before the armpit hair debacle or the mysterious meeting to get her papers that just so happened to be at the same time as the photo shoot.

Episode 5: Paint
Now here is where I probably would have ended up cutting Atalya.  For some reason, I just can’t imagine her producing an especially striking beauty shot… especially after seeing some of her post-ANTM shots that just don’t show a pretty close-up.  She has a good body for modeling and has even pulled off some decent poses, but just imagine this all covered in paint… no thanks.  And, let’s face it, I’m fairly certain Marvita had better shots than the one they showed; they were just trying to play off the whole “she’s given up” storyline.

Episode 6: Music
It’s at this point that I think Lauren should have gone home.  I loved her meat shot, her paint shot was alright, but this one is just awful — and not just awful (like Whitney’s and Anya’s) because they didn’t really fit the genre (which I should probably blame more on the creative director).  During this photo shoot, not only did she have no idea what she was doing, but she kept returning to the exact same poses, without really stepping out of her comfort zone at all.  This photo to me is a major regression, which — as we all know — was followed up the next week by the possibly worst shot of the cycle — her awful Fuerza-Bruta one.

Episode 7: Fuerza-Bruta
This is really the point, in my opinion, where Stacy-Ann started her downward spiral.  Her photo didn’t strike me as pretty or delicate or emotive or anything, frankly.  Plus, it followed in a long line of mediocre shots — her homeless shot was okay… her lingerie shot was okay… her meat shot was okay… her paint shot was okay… but she hadn’t really done anything fantastic or inspiring.

Episode 8: Recap
Stupid recap episodes.  I’d do away with them, too.

Episode 9: Jet Setters
At this point it becomes a bit harder to determine how it should have gone, since so many girls have been “saved” from unfair early eliminations, so we only are able to kind of imagine how they would have done in these shoots.  I think that this is around the point where Marvita would have headed home, though.  I mean, can you really imagine Marvita, in all her rough-and-tough horse-hair weave dressed up like a Gossip Girl wannabe strutting off to catch a plane?  Of course, there’s no way in a million years that Tyra would allow for the top-six to be all-white, but let’s face it — the white girls were just a lot stronger this season.  With Marvita sent home, that would leave a group of very dedicated, very committed, very strong contenders for the top six: Allison, Aimee, Anya, Claire, Katarzyna, and Whitney.

Episode 10: Italian CoverGirl Commercial
With our final six being Allison, Aimee, Anya, Claire, Katarzyna, and Whitney, I think that it’s pretty safe to say that the girl who would probably come off on video as being the LEAST “easy, breezy, beautiful” would be Allison.  Even in post-show interviews, she comes off rather harsh… not the friendliest-sounding person.  This, we’ll say, would have been her downfall at this point, and she would have been sent back home.

Episode 11: Roman Castle Couture
Final five – Aimee, Anya, Claire, Katarzyna, and Whitney
Well, we know how Kat, Anya, and Whitney did on these, and let me tell you, I thought that Whitney’s was awful.  Yes, I know if she had gone home then we wouldn’t have gotten to see her CoverGirl shot, but I think that having a plus-sized model make it overseas would have been enough of an accomplishment to appease most people.  And let’s face it, this was an awful shot… I’m going to assume that Aimee and Claire could have done much better than that.

Episode 12: Paparazzi
Final four – Aimee, Anya, Claire, Katarzyna
We know how Anya actually did on this, and her photo was quite fantastic.  Of Aimee, Claire, and Katarzyna, I think that Katarzyna would probably best be able to pull this one off… her jet setter shot shows that she does have a bit of actress in her that would probably be able to get into that character.  Aimee and Claire, however, have such different looks that it’s hard to imagine which would do better.  At this point, though, I think Aimee might have a more difficult time getting into character like this (such as her struggle with the R&B shot), and Claire would probably come out on top.

Episode 13: CoverGirl & Finale
Final three – Anya, Claire & Katarzyna
Trying to whittle down these final three to a final two would be VERY difficult.  The photo shoot was the CoverGirl shot, and we all know that the judges (and myself) were less than impressed with Anya’s.  However, she also had a really strong previous portfolio to back her up, so I think that she still would have made it through to the final two.  As far as Claire & Katarzyna, if it came down to who looks more like a CoverGirl, it would have to go to Katarzyna.  Claire’s look is intense, sharp, edgy, and more high-fashion, whereas Katarzyna could obviously be described as “easy, breezy, and beautiful.”  Though Claire is my favorite, if she had gotten third place to Anya and Katarzyna, I would have been happy with that.

Final two – Anya & Katarzyna
Though we know that Kat has a stellar walk, when looking at the whole package and who would better represent CoverGirl and the other sponsors, as well as who had the stronger portfolio throughout, I think that the judges would have had to go with Anya.  Kat is sweet and absolutely gorgeous, but a bit shyer than the typical bubbly rainbow-spewing CoverGirl.

Congrats, Anya, you’re America’s Next Top Blogger’s Top Model!

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5 Comments »

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  1. genius!!:D

  2. haha sweet! Awesome post 😀

    I kinda feel like Kat would have won ANTM, IF they had showcased her personality more. Since you’d have control of the editing you’d at least like to portray the better sides of people and perhaps the “truer” sides of everyone. ANTM producers seem to focus on the small petty fights in order to sway ppl to think a girl was making a huge deal over nothing ( when really…it wasn’t a big deal to begin with) I think Anya’s speech ‘impediment’ would still be a factor in being a cover girl representative.

    Although I have to admit, the Fuerza-Bruta shot of Dominique was frickin hilarious “making out with the mahlar” xD hahaha

    Atalya, although she may seem plain, I thought she looked better during her interview with Jason from the CW. She had an “edgier” cut with bangs but I don’t see it in newer photographs for some reason.

    I agree that Allison would get cut in the Italian Commercial. It might have been as fake-sounding as Whitney’s and as unenergetic as Lauren’s. But I think there’s always a random factor that those we think won’t do well, end up surprising us.

    It also makes me wonder how the covergirl of the week voting would go. hehe.

  3. Wow this is genius like what MeMe mentioned. The last six is more than genius, because those are actually the girls that were my favorites throughout the last cycle. And Anya winning… pretty sweet, but Kat, in my opinion is a bit better than Anya. But those pics are right at the top. Thanks for bringing this idea up BTW!

  4. plz claire cant model. she sucks. leiden & lauren would be booked in a hartbeat where as claire would not. who cares if kim or leiden didnt want it, they can model so they should stay in the comptition. i cant bleive you actually think that drive matters to a client. as long as the model takes a good photo, they will wrk! bias bias bias

  5. but u were right katanya top 2 is the way2go


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